Stress Less, Choose Faster: The 10-10-10 Method for Worry, Calm, and Focus
Everyone wants a piece of you. Your inbox, your kids, your brain at 2 a.m. You want to stress less, but the decisions keep stacking like laundry on the chair you pretend is a closet.
You are juggling client work, school snacks, and a body that runs on coffee and grit. Too many choices, too little time, zero bandwidth. That spiral you feel, it is not you being weak. It is overwhelm on repeat.
Here is the fix you can use in 60 seconds. A decision filter that cuts the noise and guilt, helps you right-size your reaction, and lets you pick a path without second-guessing.
What Is the 10-10-10 Method, Really?
The 10-10-10 method is simple. Ask yourself three time-based questions:
- Will this matter in 10 days?
- Will this matter in 10 months?
- Will this matter in 10 years?
Use the answers to right-size your reaction and pick the next step. Tiny ripple, quick choice. Bigger ripple, gather a bit of data. Legacy ripple, slow down and get counsel.
Why it helps with worry and anxiety:
- It creates distance. You zoom out, so panic shrinks.
- It moves you from fear to facts. Vague dread becomes clear options.
- It gives you momentum. You stop looping and start acting.
When not to use it: safety concerns, legal issues, or money emergencies that need an expert. If the stove is on, you do not need a framework, you need an off switch.
Use it everywhere else. In your business, with your kids, on your calendar. The perspective shift helps you stress less and stop carrying every choice like it is life or death.
The Brain Science Behind the 10-10-10 Method
Stress hijacks your choices. Your brain flips to fight or flight, you fixate on short-term pain, and your thinking narrows to whatever screams the loudest.
Time distance is a cool cloth for a hot brain. When you think about future you, it calms the emotional heat and lights up your reasoning. You shift from reaction to strategy. That is why a 60-second pause can bring real calm and focus.
Long-term thinking reduces overreaction stress without checking out. You are not ignoring emotions. You are giving them a smaller seat at the table, so choices get cleaner.
Want more on how your brain gets stuck on high alert? Read this piece on understanding stress responses.
Categorize Before You Spiral
Decisions get easier when you sort them fast. Not every choice deserves the same brain space. Drop each one into one of these four buckets, then run the 10-10-10 check.
1. Quick Decisions
Low-stakes, reversible, done in under five minutes. Think: choosing a Zoom background or replying to a non-urgent email.
👉 If it won’t matter in 10 days, decide now and move on. Done beats perfect.
2. Medium Decisions
Moderate impact, small cost or time, and fixable later — like upgrading software or booking a mini photo shoot.
👉 Collect two facts, set a 10-minute timer, pick the simplest “good-enough” option.
3. High-Impact Decisions
These shape your brand, money, or time long-term — pricing your offer, hiring a VA, changing your niche.
👉 Slow down. Use 10-10-10 to check alignment with your values, and get a second set of eyes.
4. Emotional Decisions
The sneaky ones: people-pleasing, mom guilt, comparison, perfectionism.
👉 Ask: Will this still matter in 10 months, or is this just anxiety dressed as productivity?
The 60-Second 10-10-10 Script
You don’t need a journal, a spreadsheet, or a perfect mindset. You just need one quiet minute and a timer.
Step 1: Name It
Say the decision in one sentence. No backstory, no essay.
Example: “Should I take that client?”
Step 2: Score It
Ask three quick questions:
- 10 days: Will I still care or feel this?
- 10 months: Will it affect my money, time, or reputation?
- 10 years: Will I even remember this moment?
Step 3: Match It
Use your score to decide how much energy it earns:
- Low: Decide and ship.
- Medium: Set a 10-minute timer, gather two facts, and choose.
- High: Block quiet time, talk to a mentor, then act.
Step 4: Pick Your Anchor
You don’t have to feel calm — you just pick a sentence that reminds you who’s driving when your brain spins out.
Use one short, believable line:
- “I’m choosing simple on purpose.”
- “My peace matters more than perfect.”
- “Done is better than spiraling.”
- “I can fix this later if I need to.”
- “Future me will thank me for deciding.”
You’re not forcing a mood. You’re giving your nervous system a script to return to when the noise starts.
Decision Map: What to Do with Your 10-10-10 Answers
If it only matters in 10 days:
Pick the easiest, fastest, cheapest route. Cap your time at 15 minutes. Publish, post, or send it — imperfectly on purpose.
If it matters in 10 months:
Gather minimal info, make one plan, and set a check-in reminder. Progress now, polish later.
If it matters in 10 years:
Pause. Seek counsel. Align it with your long-term vision. Leave a quick note to your future self so you remember why you made the call.
Real-Life Use Cases for Mom Entrepreneurs
Business Use Cases
- Pricing an offer
10 days: I will still be thinking about it, yes.
10 months: It impacts revenue and positioning, yes.
10 years: Probably not, unless it shapes the brand, likely no.
Clean decision: Create a starter price, add a review in 60 days, adjust with data. - Saying no to a misaligned client
Script: Thanks for reaching out. This is not a fit for my current scope. I can recommend two people who are.
10-10-10: 10 days, relief. 10 months, protects your energy and brand. 10 years, you will not remember.
Clean decision: No now, without drama. - Hiring a VA for 5 hours
10 days: You will feel lighter, yes.
10 months: Likely more revenue due to freed time, yes.
10 years: You will not care about this single hire, no.
Clean decision: Trial 5 hours for 4 weeks, review results. - Launching imperfectly
Script: Beta spots open. Messy site, strong value. If you need polished now, I am not your person.
10-10-10: 10 days, you will feel proud. 10 months, data beats perfection. 10 years, no one remembers.
Clean decision: Ship the beta.
Home and Parenting Use Cases
- Skipping one practice for a client deadline
10 days: Your kid will be fine.
10 months: No lasting impact.
10 years: Zero memory.
Clean decision: Skip, and plan a fun 10-minute connection later. - Screen time rule wobble
10 days: A small wobble is fine.
10 months: Consistency matters more than one day.
10 years: No one cares.
Clean decision: Allow extra 20 minutes, reset tomorrow. - Saying no to a volunteer request
Script: Thanks for asking. I cannot commit this round. Please keep me on the list for later.
Clean decision: Protect bandwidth without guilt.
Self-Care Use Cases
- Booking therapy
10 days: Nerves, then relief.
10 months: Stronger coping, better business choices.
10 years: Huge payoff.
Clean decision: Book the intake. - Saying no to a draining event
Script: I am not available, have a lovely time.
Clean decision: Protect your peace.
Tools to Implement the 10-10-10 Method Today
- One-page cheat sheet with questions, scores, and actions. (free worksheet for email subscribers – join here)
- Sticky note on your laptop: 10 days, 10 months, 10 years.
- Calendar trigger for a weekly 15-minute review.
- Notes template: decision, options, scores, choice, reason.
- Phone voice memo for quick anxiety loops, talk it out for 60 seconds.
If you want more worry support, get more information about my worry relief freebie here: Worry Relief Journal.
Common Mistakes and How to Fix Them
Using It to Avoid Feelings
Fix: Feel for two minutes on purpose. Breathe, name it, then decide.
Asking Too Many People
Fix: One mentor, one peer. That is it. No committee.
Treating Every Choice as High-Impact
Fix: Default to low stakes unless there is clear long-term impact.
Overcomplicating the System
Fix: Three questions, one decision. Keep it simple.
Mini Case Studies: The 10-10-10 in Action
Case 1: Launching Without a Polished Site
Decision: Open 8 beta spots with a plain checkout.
Scores: 10 days, yes. 10 months, data matters. 10 years, no.
Result: 6 spots filled, 2 testimonials, version 2 priced higher.
Case 2: Saying No to Additional Tasks (Scope Creep)
Language: That is outside our current scope. I can add it for X dollars or include it in a phase two.
Impact: Kept margin, kept respect.
Stress drop: Big. You taught your client how to treat you.
Case 3: Hiring 5 Hours of Help
Cost: 5 hours at a fair rate.
Energy: Reclaimed 5 hours for sales and rest.
Revenue: Closed one extra client that month. Win.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do I Use 10-10-10 When My Anxiety Is Loud?
Stand up, shake out your hands, name the fear, then ask the three questions out loud. Set a 60-second timer. Decide before it dings.
What If All My Decisions Feel Like 10-Year Decisions?
You are overloaded. Default everything to 10-day unless money, brand, or safety is involved.
How Do I Apply This to Money Choices Without Spiraling?
Use tiers. Under 200 dollars, decide in 10 minutes. Over that, gather two facts and sleep on it. Over 2,000 dollars, get counsel.
Can This Work for Creative Projects with Messy Timelines?
Yes. Make a minimum viable draft in 10 days, plan a review in 10 weeks, and a portfolio check in 10 months.
How Do I Teach This to My Kids Without Sounding Preachy?
Make it a game. Will this matter by next Friday, next school year, or when you are taller than me?
How Do I Stop Second-Guessing After I Decide?
Close the loop. Write one line: I chose X because Y. Then move. If new data shows up, you can update.
Is There a Quick Way to Use This in Public or Meetings?
Write D, M, Y in your notes. Circle one. Say, My vote is the simple option for now.
What If the 10-Day Answer Is Small but 10-Month Is Mixed?
Go minimum viable. Pick the smallest version that still teaches you something.
How Do I Keep Perspective When Sleep Deprived?
Use a binary rule: no high-impact decisions while tired. Everything else gets the simplest option.
What’s Next
Three questions, cleaner mind, stronger choices, and you stress less. Calm first, focus next, action always. Pick one nagging decision and run the 60-second script today. Future you is already proud you tried. You have got this, and your business and family will feel the difference.
If you want more worry support, get more information about my worry relief freebie here: Worry Relief Journal. or take my 7 days to less worry course
